Dropping into my normal chair, I slowly took in the whole gang of them. For being a seemingly boring quiet woman, Karen sure had a lot of interesting friends. Picking my cable up off the desk, I carefully cleaned its platinum tip as I looked back and forth amongst the group. They didn’t have a clue what was about to happen. This was going to be great.

Slowly the cable slipped into the jack in my temple as I eased back into my comfy chair. The world around me faded away to a faint memory as the darkness reached out, enveloping me in its welcoming arms. Tumbling head over heels into the digital oblivion, I was all smiles and giggles as I began contemplating the fun of the coming day.

***

What a rush. It absolutely never got old. Before opening my eyes, I flexed my fingers and toes to make sure everyone made the trip. Man, the outfit for this avatar seemed heavy today, and who hung the heavy weight on my left arm?

Opening my eyes, the scene before me caught me off guard. We were not in the dojo today. The road under my boots was hard-packed dirt. Trees lined the road on either side, and the sky was blue. Taking in my surroundings, I quipped to myself. “Well, this is different. It should be fun to explore.”

“Yes, I have been working on some side projects after hours.” Karen’s voice startled me. “We needed some new environments to challenge you. Maybe your subprocessors might get above a light workout.”

“We can always hope.” Glancing around, a question crept into my mind. “Umm, where is everyone else? I thought we were all going to work out together today?” Suddenly, just a little part of me wondered what I had gotten myself into.

“Oh, we are. Or at least you are. I’m going to spend my time watching and monitoring you.” The look on her face immediately sent up warning flags in the back of my head. “My buddies are going to give you a workout hopefully. You just head on down the trail, and let’s see what they have in store for you.”

I stopped, finally looking down at what I was wearing. “Wait a minute. They are all waiting for me? I don’t get any help?” My outfit was cumbersome and made me worry what might lie ahead. A battered breastplate covered my torso, and a wooden shield hung on my left arm. A longsword was sheathed in a scabbard at my waist. Great, medieval combat. Well, at least that was something new.

“Young lady, I have full confidence in you. And the whole point of this is to push you to your limits so we can figure out what they even are, because I’ve not been able to find them yet.” She seemed very happy with herself, which might bode badly for me later. We shall see. “We are going to crank it up a notch today. I have all of the safeguards in place, so go all out.”

“Umm, more safeguards than normal?” Unsheathing the sword, I swung it awkwardly a few times. “This appears to be potentially pretty lethal.” Sheathing the sword, I removed some small brown puffballs from a pouch and tossed them into the air. Little sparrows exploded out of the puffballs, fluttering off into the distance. “Am I actually supposed to stab my new friends?”

“I fully expect you to try. Don’t worry, if you manage to land a lethal blow, the grid runner will be ejected from the system.” Something about her tone made me want to listen closely. “It will hurt just like whatever happened, but you will not die. Just be tossed out of the game.”

Wait a minute. “Are we sure I’m ready for this?” TING! Something ricocheted off the back of my breastplate. “Whoa. Now hold on a minute.” Spinning around, I raised the shield in time to block the next arrow. Protocols began scrolling down in front of my eyes. Medieval Shield Techniques 101 . . . Shield Bashing for Amateurs . . . Surviving a Medieval Battle . . . All three files opened, and my processors gobbled them up hungrily.

“Rainbow Bright doesn’t look too tough in here.” Digital Paradox taunted me from behind. “I thought you said this was going to be a challenge, BA.”

He sounded way too close. Spinning on my heels, I looked up and up some more. I brought the shield around; the blow from his massive war hammer lifted me off the ground, flinging me down the road. Shaking my head trying to get my bearings, I flexed the fingers on my left hand. The blow to the shield had sent pain shooting up my arm, and it had gone numb. The redheaded giant before me laughed as he began to walk forward menacingly.

He was maybe seven feet tall and looked like a cross between an angry Hagrid and Conan the Barbarian. Off to the side of the road, a little guy dressed like Robin Hood darted off into the trees, probably Hyper Jinx. Oh my, this was going to be interesting.

“Oh, some of those new safeguards will hopefully keep you from affecting my grid quite so easily.” Karen stood off to the side dressed like a simple monk in brown robes. “Make you run things more like the rest of us have to.”

“Come on, girl. You can handle one cranky barbarian.” Ecstasy Eternal rode down the road on a black stallion, stopping behind Digital Paradox. Black velvety robes flowed around her. Her hair was tightly braided, maroon and purple braids mixed in with the natural black. “Karen showed me your numbers. Warm up on the big guy, then we can all join the party.”

“What? What do you mean warm up on me?” Digital Paradox paused his advance, glancing over his shoulder. “There’s not going to be anything left for you guys.” Hefting his war hammer, he seemed to be trying to decide what to smash next.

The attitude this guy had really needed to be checked and downsized. His size and reach were going to make him a problem, and the fur and leather armor? That was actually probably pretty effective against my sword. As I slowly got to my feet, feeling was beginning to come back to my left arm. That had hurt . . . a lot.

The three files on shield techniques had been digested nicely, and now my processors were working on longsword styles. The total package would be needed to make it through today. My shield felt like it was an extension of my will as I pivoted to meet my oversized cocky opponent.

Bringing my shield around, it reverberated with the war hammer’s impact but did not have the same effect as before. Good. Pivoting, I prepared to engage my first offensive protocol when something wrapped around my ankle, jerking my right foot out from under me. WHAT?

The silver, mostly transparent rope led back to a vaguely female humanoid shape, which was warping before my eyes like it was covered in mirrors. Wow! That was kinda cool, except it made it really hard to focus on it. OK. Dream Nova and Hyper Jinx must not have gotten the memo of the one-on-one combat with Digital Paradox.

Rolling to the side, pain shot up through my right shoulder as the war hammer crushed the metal plates of armor encasing it. Ow! My sword dropped from my grasp as I managed to get to my knees. Ting! An arrow bounced off the front of my breastplate. OK guys! This was not fair. Four on one?

Karen was just standing off to the side. How could she just stand there while I was getting my skinny booty kicked all over the road? A file blinked behind my eyeballs: “Longsword Techniques – Master.” Beside it blinked: “Useful protocol found. Download?” YES! Download it fast! My thought was cut off abruptly.

“Aw, come on, guys. Let me have some fun.” Digital Paradox sounded like he was really close again. Not good. “Stop distracting her. You’re making it too easy.”

Still on my knees, I turned to face him. The war hammer’s upward momentum lifted me off the ground, sending me flying down the road again. My poor breastplate would never be the same. The front was caved in, and a few of my ribs may have been broken in the process. Pain lanced through my torso as I rolled to my knees again.

Tasting blood, I spit red to the side. Yep, not good. My processors were beginning to warm up a bit.

Behind me somewhere, a voice sounded unsure. “Hey, how is she still alive? Why hasn’t the system kicked her out?” Digital Paradox seemed unsure suddenly.

Oh. That’s right, you booty-sniffing pony apple eater. This game is just getting started. Electrons began pulsing through my body, infusing me with new energy. When I looked down, the dent in my breastplate was gone. An intricate carving was slowly appearing on its now-mirrored surface. It looked like a unicorn; rainbow sparks danced along the etching.

To my right, Karen stood wide-eyed. “Guys! Heads up! We have some major anomalies happening.” She kept glancing between me and Digital Paradox. “It’s about to get rough. Hold on!”

“There is no way.” Digital Paradox began slowly walking backward away from me. “What the . . . ? How is . . . ? There is no way she should be . . .” Each thought stopped short as he tried to compute what he was seeing.

Standing up, I reached into my front belt pouch. I strode forward, and my right hand flung rainbow glitter into the air, which obediently swirled around me in a thirty-foot circle. Before I could bring my arm down, an invisible rope wrapped around my wrist and jerked it painfully.

Dream Nova? OK girl, you want to dance? Twenty feet away, my glitter began covering her warping mirrored body, which made her very easy to see. Stepping toward her, I pulled with my right and brought the shield around in a devastating bash. She dropped like a sack of potatoes, twitching on the ground. Might be sneaky, but apparently no fortitude. Her electrons exploded before my eyes, swirling away on the passing breeze.

Karen sounded almost scared. “I’m going to shut it down. The anomaly is growing; I’m having a hard time controlling it. Hold on while I engage an emergency void protocol.”

“No! My team’s got this.” Ecstasy Eternal sat tall in her saddle, perfectly calm. “We are professionals. The safety protocols are working. Dream Nova is safe on the outside.”

Ting! Another arrow ricocheted off my shield. “OK Waldo, I have had about enough of you and your arrows!” Opening my right hand, palm open, I pointed to my sword, which was about twenty feet away. It obediently lifted off the ground, spinning into my open hand in a flash.

I swung it around, and the point stopped in the direction I thought Hyper Jinx was hiding. All the leaves on the trees and bushes turned different bright colors and dropped to the ground, exposing the annoying archer, who was now dressed in the red and white of Waldo. Eyes wide in surprise, he darted off deeper into the woods.

Karen was getting frantic. “Guys, this is going to get really out of control fast. I need to shut it down. Soon I might not be able to.”

“If the safeguards are holding, let it play out.” Ecstasy Eternal still appeared outwardly calm, although she was moving her black stallion farther down the road. “This is amazing; I want to see how this finishes out.”

A rainbow cape now flowed down my back, and at some point, my ponytail had come undone, unleashing a cascade of rainbow-colored hair, which now floated along behind me. As I strode forward confidently, my processors had calmed down and were happily coasting at 50%. “OK you oversize Stay Puft Marshmallow Boy, I’m coming for you next!”

“You think a little flash will scare the Digital Paradox? Then you are mistaken, little girl.” His voice betrayed no fear, and he was all business now. “Let’s continue this dance, shall we?” Stepping forward, the monster war hammer came arcing around on a collision course with my head.

My shield easily made it up in time, blocking the war hammer. The sound of the impact was odd. Pieces of something red began raining down around me. Lowering the shield, I almost giggled. Digital Paradox looked like he was holding a giant red lollipop, which had shattered. The last pieces of candy fell off the stick as I watched.

Stepping back, he looked at his broken war hammer in disbelief. “How did you do that?” For the first time, he may have sounded a little nervous. “No matter. Plenty of toys left.” Reaching over, he literally pulled a small tree up by its roots and hefted it like a club. As he took a practice swing, tremors rolled over his massive body. Dropping the tree, his hands moved to his knees as he tried to steady himself.

Standing up, he shook his head and hefted the tree again. “Kid, I am going to smash you to a pulp.” Then he stopped abruptly, looking down. “What on earth did you do to me?” He looked like a seven-foot marshmallow man, and a fat one at that.

I engaged my combat protocol, and the sword swung effortlessly in my grasp. It was as if it was an extension of my will. The dulled steel was now shiny and smooth. Bright colors seemed to bleed through the metal. Chromatic flames of every color of the rainbow danced along its razor-sharp edge.

Reflexively my shield arm came up, blocking the incoming tree. Digital Paradox was going to be a professional to the end. As the tree rolled harmlessly off the shield, I spun, bringing the flaming sword around and cleaving through his right arm. The smell of burning marshmallows filled the air.

He stumbled back, screaming in anger. His marshmallow body was turning brown around the stump of his lower arm. Glancing around, he looked for another weapon. I must say, here at the end I was impressed. None were nearby, so his big gooey fist came around in an attempted knockout swing.

Ducking the tasty-looking arm, I thrust the flaming sword up into his ample wiggling and jiggling gut. Flames immediately began crawling up his front and back where my blade protruded. My stomach growled at the yummy smells of roasting marshmallows. As I withdrew my blade, he screamed in pain, trying to hold in the gooeyness of his insides with his left hand.